so , back to the story,,,,,,,the night before i was thinking i should just stay home,,,,i had lots of sewing to catch up on.......amongst other things....but by lunch time the next day i was excited again...... mary picked me up and we left.....we jammed in the car to some great music,,,,,she introduced me to "brit nicole" and awesome singer........and when we got to eldorado we ate some dinner,,,,,,we ate dinner, both of us without interruptions ,,,,,,no taking kids to the bathroom, or changing diapers right after we got our food,,,,no spilled drinks, or wiping dirty faces..... we love our kids.....and would do anything for them,,,,,,and have.......but man was it nice to have some real adult conversation,,,,,and remember what it was like to put on a clean outfit, go out and come home with the same clean outfit on,,,,,,and no ketchup or spit-up stains......lol.......wow...............after dinner,,,,,anticipating some great music,,,,we left and went to the concert..........during the concert, we realized that the expectations we had for that night were very human,,,,,small minded....if u will.............because what we experienced wasn't just a night out and good music,,,,,,,God moved in that room,,,,,that full room.........and in our hearts......i think mary and i both cried thru half the concert......just the how the words of natalie grant's new songs......how they spoke so much truth......and how she ministered to us between songs......and one story was one that will forever be embedded in my heart.....a story about a girl she knows.....a girls she grew up next store to.......she had everything,,,,,she was the "it" girl.......the good girl........and grew up, got married and now has three kids of her own.......just living life and loving life and appreciating life,,,,,and living it in a respectful manner........and then she found out she had stage 4 bone cancer.......now she's dealing with leaving her husband and three children without a mother and now she's facing death head on......looking it in the face........and spending her days in a hospital bed.......and "every night", she says......" i scoot over a little in the bed to make room for the one who be with me thru it all....and in the morning i know there will be a dent in the pillow beside me where He laid with me all night"............
hearing this story and stories like it should spark something in us,,,,,,they should make us feel ashamed for all the "Pity Parties" we have for ourselves......if u haven't realized it yet,,,,,,someone always has it worse off then u do......actually, more then just one person.......a lot of people.......
this world is not about us....it was not created for us.......we are merely passing thru,,,,,and people aren't really going to remember us.......they are going to keep on living their lives.......because time doesn't stop.......but God will remember what we did.......He knows if we get up in the morning and study His word,,,,,He knows if we pray for more then 5min,,,,,,,He knows if we are compassionate,,,,,,He knows if we do our jobs with a joyful heart even if it's not what "we" want to do,,,,,,,,,He knows if we really tell others about Him,,,,,,,He knows if we forgive others,,,,,,,He knows if we serve others,,,,,,He knows if we stand up for Him...............God knows everything,,,,,,,and He knows what we don't do...........and in the end,,,what we do in life isn't going to be remembered by people here on earth,,,,,,,it is only going to be remembered by Him.......and that is all that matters.......instead of worrying about making a good impression on people,,,,,,,we should be worrying about making a good impression on God.........
if u know any of natalie grant's songs,,, it's probably the one titled, "held".......she wrote it after a friends' baby died.....and it talks about how troubling it is that a baby would die even though it's mother was praying for it........ she sang that sunday night too..........and the tears came pouring down..........this isn't a song i intentionally listen to.......it's a beautiful song,,,,,but it brings so much pain with it........when david and i lost our first baby to a heart defect when i was 12 weeks preg,,,,it was so confusing to say the least.....two weeks before we had been told that there may be something wrong with the heart of our new baby.....but we were steadfast with prayer before our God,,,,,,,and trusting Him........
our baby died.......and i wanted to die with him........i fell into a depression for a couple of months....and never realized how much pain a person could feel until that time............
but i kept trusting in my Mighty God..........and came thru that valley.........but only because i clinged to my God and HIs word........i grew more in that last month then i had the whole year and half i had been saved.........i don't know why God didn't let me have that baby here........but i know that will hold that baby one day.......with my God.......who is holding him now.......
i just wanted to know that the pain i went thru wasn't going to be in vain.......that there would be purpose to it......that my God would be glorified out of it...........and He is........i can't tell u how many times i have been able to share in other's grief......and pain,,,,,,and then be able to tell them about the three beautiful, healthy children i've been blessed with now.........and how God can do the same for them........ well, thanks natalie for sharing ur song and making me listen even when i didn't want to........because, not only am i reminded of the hurt and loss,,,,but i'm reminded of the joy and glory that came later........ i'm not one to usually bare my soul out here for all to see.......but on this blog it just comes out.......
thanks mary, for taking me with u.......it was very refreshing,,,,,and makes me want to hold on to all that is good.......
No comments:
Post a Comment